it's thursday! time to go malaysia again.. =) for basic whitewater course, and although everyone says it's chicken feed compared to our 3 previous sunkai and slim runs, im still having cold feet and harbouring thoughts of backing out last minute..

i think im chicken shit and a scaredy cat, cus i always have such 'shit ive a feeling something will happen so i better not go' kinda thoughts.. happened before WWI, WWII, WWIII and even Ramunia early this year.. and even CityChase! den need to psycho and convince myself to go or something.. but the positive side is that i always manage to bluff myself to go, and i always have the most fun! =))

nowadays i feel like a Pokemon thats evolving. im changing and im not gonna wait for anyone.. u've gotta keep up with me! st nix yuqin and meijie didn't so ive moved on without them.. i used to be ohh sssooo close to them, but now i don't feel anything when they are no longer around.. the only word in my kiddish vocab to describe myself now is 'nonchalent'..

and regarding someone's question, indeed i feel that certain people matter more than they deserve.. already i can rattle off a few names.. maybe im too nice? =p didn't use to be this nice. maybe everyone should have a dose of the jeremy back in cat high.. hahaha!! the chilli padi jeremy.. =)

maybe i just have to learn that it's no big deal.